Questions for foster carers and social workers Routine What does their typical day look like, their routine? Can you write it out for us? Does their experience of the routine match your experience of the routine? What boundaries have been set and what do these look like? What type of parenting are you currently using? What strategies don’t work for them i.e. sticker charts? Do they get upset if their routine changes, or do they manage change well? What anchors in the routine make them feel safest? Food Are they weaned and if so, when did this happen? If they are weaned, what type of food are they eating - textured, smooth, finger food etc.? Are they having baby food and if so, which varieties do they like? Do they have formula (what make) or cow's milk (full fat or semi-skimmed)? How much milk do they have – in bottles or with meals? If bottles, what brand/type? What are their mealtimes, how often do they eat and how much do they typically eat? Do they ask for food and when mealtimes are? (Do they worry that they may not get food?) Can they feed themselves? What help to they need? What dishes are they used to – plastic / spoon / cutlery etc. Do they have favorites? Any feeding/swallowing issues? Are their foods they struggle with or don’t like? Do they enjoy trying different foods? What do they usually drink? If a sippy cup, what brand? What food do they usually eat and what do they like and dislike? Does it take a long time for them to eat a meal, or do they eat quickly? Do they have any food allergies? Are they able to manage eating alongside other people? How do they typically behave before or after eating? Hygiene/toileting Can they wash, brush teeth/hair themselves or do they need help? What size/type of toothbrush and toothpaste to they like/not like? Can they dress/undress themselves or do they need help? When and how often do they have a bath or shower; morning or evening? Do they like being in the bath or is it stressful for them? How do you wash their hair and with what? Do they like having their hair brushed (hairbrush or comb,) washed and dried? What shampoo and bubble bath do they have (& other toiletries)? Do they like brushing their teeth? Do you supervise? Do they use nappies? What are they like having their nappy changed? Are they reasonably happy or do they hate it? What is their nappy size? What make of nappy, wipes and creams do they have? Do they suffer from nappy rash and, if so, what cream do they use? Are they able to use a toilet independently? If not, what does toileting usually look like? How are they emotionally around these times? How did they manage learning to use a toilet? Do they need help with the toilet and washing hands etc? Do they wet the bed at night? If so, how do they manage any conversations about this or with you helping to clean up? Do they wear pull ups in bed and/or have a protective sheet? Sleep What is their sleep routine - time, stories, bath etc? Do you leave them to get to sleep or do they need you to be in the room/next to them? Do siblings sleep in the same room? Do they use a dummy - just at night or during the day too? Do they have any other comforters - just at night or during the day too? Is there a special one and do you have a double? Do they need a nightlight on? Do they have difficulty getting to sleep, do they sleep soundly or does the slightest thing wake them? How do you soothe them back to sleep during the night if they wake up? How do you deal with nightmares/monsters under the bed? Do you have anything in the cot/bed - toys, mobiles etc. Is there any music used to help them sleep? What bedding do they use – pillows, duvet, blankets? Do they have a favority? Do they nap in the day, if so when and where? Will they sleep in the buggy or the car, or do they have to go to bed to sleep? Can they recall their dreams and nightmares? What are their favorite bedtime stories? Behaviour Can you identify what their particular cries mean – do they need food, changing etc? How can you tell when they are hungry or tired? How do they cope with pain - do they have an overly high or low pain threshold? Do they react to the distress of others when they are with you? Do they have any (rational or irrational) fears - flies, spiders, loud noises, water, smells, places, activities, beards, people with glasses, anything unusual? How can you tell when they are angry or scared? What does that usually look like? Are they able to identify and talk about their feelings? Do they have ‘tantrums’ and if so, what triggers them? How long do they last? Is there anything that triggers a particular feeling (anger, happiness, fright, distress) for them? How easily are they calmed/soothed? What do you do to comfort them - cuddle, stroke, hold them in a particular way? What do they use to comfort themselves - blanket, dummy, rag, toy? Is there anything that particularly delights them or gets them excited? How do they show affection? Are they cuddly or do they push you away? Do they have any behaviours when they are emotionally dysregulated - e.g. hitting, biting, scratching etc? Do they make up stories, or share fantasies as if they’re reality? Is there a history of making false allegations of abuse? (And have any allegations of abuse been wrongly dismissed? Is their experience that they are not believed by adults?) Has there been any sexualized behaviour, or problematic / harmful sexual behaviour? Is there a history of sexual abuse? What do they understand about their own physical safety - not playing with matches, dialling 999 etc? How would you describe their behaviour and personality? What is their general outlook on life? Do they hope? Do they experience joy? What helps them to feel psychologically safe and secure? Products What perfume/after shave do you wear? What washing powder/liquid, fabric softener, tumble dryer additives, air freshener do you use? Which baby products and toiletries do you use? Medical Can I have access to their medical records? How much do they weigh? How tall are they? What was their head circumference at birth and now? (This measurement gives a good indication of likely future growth). Are they teething? How did you handle teething? Is there anything they liked/disliked? What happens when they are teething - rash, fever, drool? Are they a sickly baby/child? What do you do when they are feeling unwell? Do they like Calpol or own brand paracetamol? Do you use a syringe or spoon? Ibuprofen? Do they have any allergies to products - washing powder, plasters etc? Do they have dry skin or baby eczema? What products do you use? Are they over-the-counter products or prescription? Have they been screened for hepatitis a/b or HIV? Have they had any childhood illnesses - chicken pox, glue ear, sticky eyes, conjunctivitis? Are their inoculations up to date? Do they have any additional needs? Are they having any specialised care or therapy etc? What is planned over the continued review of any medical conditions that are already identified? Are there any upcoming medical appointments including, optician, speech therapy etc. Are they up to date? If they take medication, how and when are they given? Do they go to the dentist regularly? When was their last appointment? How do they feel about these visits? Do you have the ‘red book’? Development Are they meeting their developmental, physical and communication milestones? When did they first start crawling, taking first steps, eating solid foods, talking etc.? Are there any issues being addressed, or which need to be? How does the child’s emotional and developmental age compare to their chronological age? How is their capacity for understanding? What are their strengths in intelligence? How mobile are they? Do you have a copy of the Health Visitors checks? Nursery/School/Education Academically how are they doing? Can they speak/read/write/draw? What do they enjoy reading or having read to them? What do they like drawing? Do they have learning difficulties? Are they on an IEP? When was that last updated and when is the next review? What was their last report like? Can we see any of the things they have brought home from school? Do they like going to nursery or school? Do they have a best friend at school/nursery? Do they have any specific skills or attributes ? Have they had any assessments or diagnoses such as neurodevelopmental or FASD? Social Are there any other children in the foster care placement (siblings or other children) and how do they get on with them? Do they have particular friends? Are they used to playing with other children and having them around? Do they play well with other children? Are they leaders or followers? Do they play by themselves? Do you take them to toddler groups? Do they go along to any activities – sports / craft / music classes? Do they prefer the company of children or adults more? How are they with new people? Which adult are they closest to? Do they prefer any particular people or gender of adults? Do strangers upset them or make them anxious? Do they have stranger fear? Do they have difficulty with hugs, eye contact, touch, proximity? Do they like their birthdays? How do they feel about celebrating other people's birthdays? How do they cope with parties? Are there any strategies you use to make parties/events easier? How do they feel about Christmas? Mother’s and/or father’s day? Animals Are there any animals they are frightened of? Are they accustomed to any pets/animals? Did the birth family have pets? Do they like cats, dogs, birds, farm animals? Are there pets in the foster placement? How do they behave around pets or other people's animals? Activities Can they swim? Do they swim regularly? Do they like dancing and singing? Do they have any talents and attributes? Do they like playing in the garden, going to the park? Do they enjoy it even when the weather isn't fine? Do they like sports and outdoor activities? Do they like walking? Do they ride a bike? Do they have their own bike? Do they like travelling in a car? Are they good passengers? Do they suffer from travel sickness? Have they travelled a long distance in a car? Do you use a baby sling/carrier? Have you taken them abroad on holiday? If so, where? Do they have a passport? Have you taken them on holiday in this country? If so, where? Is there any equipment you take with you when you are out and about with them? Do you have special seating arrangements - at home, at tables in restaurants, in the car? What are their favourite indoor/outdoor games? What are their favourite places to visit - park, swimming pool, woods, farm? What are their favourite smells eg seaside, flowers, woods? What are their favourite songs? What are their hobbies and interests? What size and make of child seat do you have in the car? Do they have any toys or mirrors attached to their car seats? What kind of pram/buggy/pushchair are they used to? What sounds or noises do they like to hear? Can they take appropriate risks in trying new things? Or do they take risks that put them in danger? Clothing Are there any clothes that they dislike wearing? Are there any clothes that are favourites? Do they have a good range of seasonal clothing to bring with them? What are their clothing sizes? What size feet do they have? Toys/books etc What are their favorite toys? What are their favorite indoor/outdoor games – are they good at taking turns etc? What are their favorite books to be read to / read themselves? What are their favourite television shows or movies? Have they been to the cinema or theatre and did they like it? What is their favourite music / artists / songs? Is there a theme to their favourite toys/books/tv? Possessions What clothing, toys, bedding, books, CDs, DVDs, photos, documents etc will they be bringing with them? What are their most prized possessions? Can you tell us who gave them which possessions - birth family, another foster carer? Which are significant or most precious and why? Do they take care of their possessions? Is there anything that they really love that they won't be able to bring with them? General Are there any photos/albums we could take with us? Do they have any nicknames? What is their legal status? Are there any court dates? What is the likely outcome? Double check anything that you have been told by social workers or medical advisors with the foster carer. Where are all their legal papers, health records, personal papers, school/nursery reports, old birthday cards, old photos etc? How do they see themselves? History/family Do you have information on birth family medical history which could be relevant? Are there any mental health issues that you are aware of within the birth family? Are there any other siblings? What is their status? How are they doing? Did siblings have similar antenatal experiences? Are there any genetic illnesses that you are aware of within the birth family? Were they born prematurely and, if so, how premature? Natural or assisted birth? Was there any substance abuse or smoking during their pregnancy? What was their birth weight, length and time of birth? Adoption plan What is the plan for contact with birth family (if any contact is currently taking place)? What is their adoption plan? Who supports their plan - guardian, courts, birth family? What assessments have been undertaken and when - medical, sibling, attachment? What reports have been produced and when - medical, school, nursery, foster carer, sibling, attachment specialists, psychiatrist? Why was the child removed from the birth parents? What age were they removed? How did they settle in foster care? Have they had more than one foster care placement? If so, why were they moved? Have there been previous adoption disruptions? If so, why? Did they bond with the foster parents? Do they have any religious affiliation? What is their ethnic/cultural background? Other questions What has the child been told about their birth family? What contact have they had with birth family, including siblings? Were there any changes in their behaviour after contact? Will future contact be expected? Will that be letterbox or direct contact? What have they been told about adoption? How have you prepared them? How much have they been told about their birth family and why they are being adopted? What is their understanding about it, and what are their feelings about it all? Does the child have a Life Story Book and a Later in Life Letter? Do you want to keep in contact? Is there anything that you would like to know about us? What and who do you think they will miss when they move on? When can we give them something of ours - an item of clothing or a toy - for them to get used to? Can we call you to ask more questions in the future? More information Books For adopters First Steps in Parenting the Child Who Hurts, Caroline Archer For children Nutmeg gets Adopted, Judith Foxon Chester and Daisy Move on, Angela Lidster Other Resources Adoption UK Membership - webinars on placement and early days Supporting adoptive parents with a new placement Post adoption support View a printable version of this page Manage Cookie Preferences