Meeting professionals

Before the meeting  

• Understand the purpose of the meeting. Ask the person calling the meeting what they hope the outcome will be. Is this a meeting to decide aims and objectives, or a follow-up to a previous meeting to check on progress? If you are requesting the meeting, it’s important that you notify the relevant professionals in advance that you wish them to attend and give them an outline of the points you want to cover.   

•  Be clear what you want to achieve from the meeting. Decide what outcomes you want from the meeting but be prepared to negotiate and compromise if necessary. If appropriate, ask your child/ren for their views and wishes for the meeting. It may be that the people in this meeting are not able to help you achieve what you want – that may be the job of others - but you can ask for advice on who can deal with the matter of concern to you.   

• Read reports and, if appropriate, the minutes from the last meeting before you go. If you’ve not been given any of these ask in writing for them to be forwarded to you. If you feel there are any inaccuracies put this in writing and ask for them to be added to the minutes. Remember you can ask for factual information to be altered but not opinions, though you can certainly give your own version of events.   

• Prepare your questions beforehand. If you have questions you want to ask – whether related to reports, the minutes of the last meeting, or any new points you want to find out about – write them down beforehand so you don’t forget them.   

• Find out who’ll be chairing the meeting and who else will be attending. Which body do they represent? Are they independent? Have all the relevant people been invited? If there is someone you feel will make a useful contribution, ask for them to be invited.   

• Check if the meeting is at a time and place convenient for you. If childcare will be difficult at the proposed time and venue, you could ask for these to be changed.   

• Plan your journey in advance. Make sure you know where the venue is and where the nearest parking, bus stop or train station is. Give yourself plenty of time to get there so you can be calm on arrival and not stressed about being late.  

During the meeting   

• Take someone with you. If you feel it would be helpful, take a friend or colleague whom you can trust with the sensitive information which may be discussed. This person is not there to speak on your behalf, but to act as ‘a pair of extra ears’, to take notes and give you moral support. They could also have a copy of the points and questions you want to raise and be able to prompt you if you forget any.   

• Know who everyone is. If the meeting starts without introductions, ask to be introduced to everyone. Don’t be afraid to ask someone their name and role during the meeting if you forget.   

• Make sure you’ve got all the relevant paperwork with you. Try to have it organised so that you’re not searching for reports; a ring binder may be useful. If reports or other documents are presented at the meeting, ask for time to read them and make sure you’re clear about what they’re saying.   

• Don’t be afraid to ask questions. Professionals will often use the vocabulary of the job forgetting that not everyone is familiar with it. If this happens ask for an explanation. If you’re not sure of any point that’s raised, ask for clarification. It’s important you understand what’s happening. If you’re still not clear, ask again. If your child/children are with you and sensitive issues are being discussed ‘over their heads’, you could remind people that children can understand they’re being talked about and this may lead them to feel upset or insecure.  

• Try to remain calm. You’re depending on the professionals in the meeting to help you and your child through a difficult situation. Remaining as calm as possible will help the meeting stay focused on the important and relevant issues. If you do become upset, you could ask for a short break so you can compose yourself.  

• Don’t make hasty decisions. If you’re asked to make a decision you’re not sure about, request time to consider and reflect upon what’s being suggested. Offer a time when you’ll get back to the meeting attendees, by letter or email, with your conclusion.   

At the end of the meeting  

Make sure you know who’s going to send out the minutes and ask when that’ll happen. Be clear on any action points and who is responsible, and how to contact them if necessary. Take your diary to the meeting so any follow-up meetings that are needed can be scheduled then and there on a date that’ll work for you.  

Preparing for and managing virtual meetings   

Many meetings are now online via virtual programmes like Zoom and Microsoft Teams. Make sure you’ve got these loaded up on your computer and test them in advance to reduce the stress of any technical issues. Agree with the other attendees what the back-up plan will be should anyone experience technical problems which means the meeting can’t go ahead in full.   

You’ll be discussing sensitive information so make sure you set yourself up somewhere private where you won’t be disturbed. Keep any pets out the way so they don’t become a distraction.  

As with a face-to-face meeting, at the start make sure everyone is introduced and that the rules are agreed about how the discussion will be managed to ensure everyone gets their turn to speak; it’s better to be explicit about these even if they seem obvious as it’s harder to make conversations work through a screen.   

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