Introduction to trauma and attachment Why do trauma and attachment matter? If you were adopted, it's likely that both your brain and body were affected by trauma, even if you don’t remember it. This can have an impact on how you connect with others throughout your life, regulate emotions, and how you feel about yourself. The journey of starting to understand how this might have affected you can be helpful in gaining insight, self-compassion and gaining some tools for growth. What is attachment? Attachment begins with the bond that forms between a child and their caregiver. This bond sets the foundation for much of how we relate to others throughout life. Your attachment style develops as a result of many factors, some of which can be impacted by early life trauma, adverse childhood experiences, adoption and many other things. There are different styles of attachment which you can learn about in many places. Some of the key features and behaviours are below: Secure attachment: Communicates easily. Strong ability to regulate emotions. Trusts others. Comfortable with intimacy. Higher self-esteem. Anxious-ambivalent: Fears abandonment or rejection. Struggles to communicate needs consistently. Difficulty trusting others will always be there for them. Tend to have a low opinion of self, high opinion of others. Avoidant attachment: Avoids/uncomfortable with intimacy. Finds it difficult to commit. Difficulty trusting. High sense of independence. Emotionally distant. May shut down emotions. Disorganised attachment: Fears intimacy. Negative view of self and others. Contradictory beliefs and behaviours. Fears rejection. May be inconsistent both internally and externally. May be prone to anger When adoption is involved, especially if there was neglect, abuse, or separation from birth parents, the early bonds of attachment can be affected. This can lead to attachment difficulties, which might still affect you as an adult, even if you don’t consciously connect your past with present struggles. It's important to note that none of this is your fault. What is trauma? Trauma is the lasting emotional effects that come from experiences that overwhelmed someone’s ability to cope. Trauma is not necessarily just about one-time events. It can include early life experiences, such as: being removed from birth parents, being in foster care or institutions, inconsistent emotional care, exposure to abuse, neglect, or chaos, being parented by foster carers or adoptive parents with their own unresolved attachment issues. These early experiences can shape a child’s developing brain. Even if you were adopted into a loving home, your body may still carry the imprint of earlier trauma. This is often referred to as developmental trauma. How this might be visible in adulthood It may be worth considering if trauma or attachment-related patterns are part of your life if you identify with some of the following: struggle to trust others or get close to people, feel anxious in relationships or fear abandonment, avoid emotional intimacy or rely only on yourself, experience intense emotions, anger, or numbness, feel like you don’t fully “belong” or question your identity, have trouble with self-worth, even when others affirm you. These are common and valid experiences for adult adoptees—and they are not your fault. What can help? Many people find helpful steps have included: therapy – especially with therapists trained in trauma and attachment (e.g., EMDR, sensorimotor psychotherapy, or attachment-focused work), adoption support services – many local authorities in the UK offer therapeutic support for adult adoptees, peer support – talking with others who’ve been adopted can be validating and healing, books and podcasts – exploring adoption, trauma, and healing can give language to what you’ve felt. Where to start Adoption UK's information and support line Psychology and Therapy Hub (PATH) services for adult adoptees PAC-UK Your GP can refer you to mental health services or specialist support Finding a therapist Manage Cookie Preferences